You thought of your mother back at home and how much you miss her. She must have had some plan with your stepdad. You thought of your brother and silently pray that he will find happiness. Your sister probably got a movie date today, while your eldest sister getting busy with her two kids. You thought of your father, and smiled at the memory.

You thought of yourself and how lucky you are. Your family loves you, your friends are always supportive, and your life has never been dull. There was always something unexpected rolling your way, a twist in the tale. Some of them made you cry and yet, you learned to laugh again. And you thanked God for that. You thanked God for everything…

So I decided to stop…

But my fingers itched to type out my nonsensical feelings.

I’m a natural complainer, and if you noticed most bloggers complain a lot. Whether it’s our lousy personal life, or our stupid job, or the public toilet, we just complain and complain. Nothing, and no one, is good enough. And I don’t want to have this annoying habit. That was why I titled my blog in such a way, so that only happy thoughts and events can be recorded in it.

Learning to be content and happy can be a difficult thing. I wonder why is that so…

And Stacie Orrico’s More to Life kept on playing in my head.

I felt dizzy looking at the ventilator settings, going S and then A and C. Green, red, yellow… like the traffic lights at the hospital junction. I stood beside the patient and looked at all the lines. Triple lumen, femoral, long line. I looked at the bare chest, the fingers unmoving, the legs strapped with dvt prophylaxis machine. I looked at the balding head of the specialist, the stethoscope hung limp around his neck. I looked at the MOs looking at the cxr. A question broke through to me, and I answered. They looked satisfied with my answer, and I drifted off again.

There’s gotta be more to life then chasing down every temporary high… I hummed secretly to myself.

Here’s a few pics of the place.

View from our balcony

Breathtaking...

That quote came from a specialist during our CPD this morning. And the audience laughed in response.

Am I the only who was disgusted by his statement? Can that statement even pass as a lame joke?

My current superiors are like angels compared to my friends’ back in KL (according to the horrible stories that they’ve told me). I have the opportunity to experience a variety of things like public health services to rural areas, going to RTM for radio talk, rare diseases like Kawasaki and HFMD and challenging language barrier, which I won’t get if I’m working in KL. People actually thanked me here. I don’t think snobbish city people who ‘knows’ better than me will even appreciate the fact that I’m working round the clock, entertaining their various needs and fusses. The bottom line is, I love working here.

But I miss the city.

Do you know what that feels like?

HEAVEN….

:p

At first I didn’t want to go back, coz I’m damn broke (but I miss home!). I just shipped my car from KL, which explains why I’m broke. And my parents are coming to Kuching anyway by end of March (which also means I have to save up for their expenses here). But then I received a call from my head of school last Thursday, asking me if I can come back to receive some award in an event organized by MPS.

That’s enough reason for me to fly back home… I didn’t even hesitate when I said yes, I will come. Hehehe…

So now I’m counting the days….

I think it doesn’t rain coz the day got a bit of a shock seeing me going to work in baju kurung… Hahaha…